Holy Crap.. I’m Another Year Older
There comes a point where birthdays start feeling different.
When you're a kid, you count down the days for months. You dream about presents, cake, sleepovers, and finally being old enough to do whatever the next age unlocks.
Then your twenties hit, and birthdays become a little weird. You're excited... but you're also measuring yourself against where you thought you'd be.
Then your thirties show up.
And honestly?
I think they're my favorite.
Not because I've figured life out.. but because I've finally started appreciating just how lucky it is to have another birthday at all.
Looking Back
If I had to describe this last year in three words, it would be:
Grind.
Reflect.
Prioritize.
It was a year filled with big moments.
Signing up for my first HYROX.
Girls' nights that reminded me how important community is.
Multiple spontaneous 24-hour getaways with my husband.
A whole lot of walks with my pups.
And unfortunately... a hospitalization that reminded me just how quickly life can change.
If I'm being completely honest, the last few weeks of this year almost killed me, but I'm incredibly proud that I woke up every single day and kept fighting.
Some days that fight looked obvious. Other days it looked like simply getting out of bed.
Both count.
Not Every Goal Was Checked Off
I didn't accomplish every financial goal, business milestone, health marker, or trip I wanted to go on.
Part of me still wants to see those as failures.
But instead.. I’m choosing to see them as feedback.
Turning another year older has forced me to stop, reflect, and ask myself whether I’m climbing the mountain I want to climb or if I’m just climbing one because I thought I should.
Trust me, my goals haven't disappeared. If anything, they’ve gotten bigger.
The difference is that now I'm just as committed to becoming the person who can accomplish them.
My Favorite Thing About My 30s
Can I admit something?
I just...don't care anymore.
Okay, that's not entirely true.
I care deeply.
I care about my family. My marriage. My friends. My faith. My health. My business. My pups.
But random opinions? People who don't know me? Internet criticism?
Not nearly as much.
One of my favorite quotes says,
"If I wouldn't ask you for advice, I'm not going to accept your criticism."
That mindset has been incredibly freeing.
On top of that, I’ve become kinder to myself, even if I’m still incredibly hard on myself.
But my thirties have taught me that grace and discipline can exist at the same time.
Nobody Warned Me About This Part...
Can we also acknowledge something?
One day I woke up...and I had wrinkles. My knees started sounding like microwave popcorn. My period became significantly more dramatic. And somehow everyone under the age of 25 suddenly looks 12.
How did that happen overnight?
I have no idea.
But honestly?
I wouldn't trade it.
Because every wrinkle has a story.
Every scar reminds me I've healed.
Every birthday means I got another year that someone else was praying for.
The Biggest Lesson
This year reminded me that life changes in an instant.
Health changes. Plans change. Dreams change. Priorities change.
One day you're making plans for next month.
The next you're lying in a hospital bed wondering when you'll feel normal again.
That changes you.
It makes you stop saving everything for "someday."
It reminds you to call your friends. Take the trip. Go outside. Take the pictures. Celebrate the birthday.
Because tomorrow isn't promised.
What I'm Excited About
This next year feels different.
Not because I have everything figured out.
But because I'm done living scared.
The last few years, if I'm honest, I've lived with a scarcity mindset.
"What if it doesn't work?"
"What if I fail?"
"What if I get sick again?"
Ironically...getting sick reminded me that life is way too short to keep asking those questions.
I want to take risks again. I want to chase big dreams. I want to continue making my health a priority.
I want to feel brave. Strong. Determined.
I want to become someone who follows through on the promises she makes to herself.
To My 21-Year-Old Self
I'd tell her everything is going to be okay.
I'd tell her that this diagnosis doesn't define her.
I'd tell her she'll eventually find a relationship with God that brings a peace she never knew she needed.
I'd tell her she'll take huge risks.
Some will work. Some won't.
Both will be worth it.
I'd tell her she'll laugh a lot more than she thinks.
Travel more than she ever imagined.
Love deeper.
Dream bigger.
And that she's just getting started.
So Here's What I Hope You Remember
If you've been dreading your next birthday...don't.
Celebrate it.
Take the day off if you can. Eat the cake. Get the free coffee. Go somewhere beautiful. Call the people you love.
Because getting older isn't something to fear.
It's proof that you were given something incredibly precious...
More time.
And after this past year, I don't think I'll ever look at another birthday the same way again.
I'm grateful for every laugh. Every scar. Every lesson. Every person who's walked beside me.
And every single year that I get to say...
Holy crap... I'm another year older.
What a gift.
– Nicole 🖤
P.S. What’s one thing you’re grateful for from the last year of your life? I’d love to hear it in the comments.